


To Breathe

by thelistlesswriter



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Oneshot, appa and momo are mentioned, as bros do, just some late night philosophies you know, mainly haru and jet centric, they’re just hanging out and talking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-23
Updated: 2020-10-23
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:55:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27164183
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thelistlesswriter/pseuds/thelistlesswriter
Summary: For Jet, long, sleepless nights weren’t new. Retreating to the Western Air Temple hadn’t changed this in the slightest.At least, this time, he learns he’s not alone.
Relationships: Haru/Jet
Comments: 10
Kudos: 21





	To Breathe

**Author's Note:**

> takes place in an au where jet fights on day of black sun and retreats with haru, teo, and the duke, thus completing the earth kingdom squad

The fortress of solitude clung tightly to the underbelly of the cliffside, hanging steadfast as gentle breezes wound through its hallowed halls, the warm, night air sneaking in through its yawning archways, filling the temple with a sense of calm, giving its namesake purpose. Peace and serenity were unspoken messages, carried in on the wind, reminders carried from the past that continued to persist into the future, long after its original occupants had stopped chanting the mantras that brewed such feelings of reassurance and safety. 

The Western Air temple was perfect. Perfect, not only for hiding away from their enemies, but for the atmosphere it provided, instilling a sense of tranquility into those present that seemed near impossible given the circumstances. Badgerfrog croaks drifted up from the forest below, joining the soft cacophony that mixed with mole cricket chirps, the ever-present melody echoing throughout the stone palace. Stars twinkling high above, moon shining in all her glory, light casting shadows that seemed to move of their own accord, jostled ever so slightly by the warm wind that passed through, making the trees in the forest below sway, all while stirring the dust and debris that littered the cold temple floor above.

It was a moment of true peace and quiet that not even the war itself could take away. 

As any other person would say, this moment would be best spent asleep, curled up tight in bedrolls or tucked away in their own rooms, where the warmth of the night air would easily coax them all to sleep. Even animals themselves would agree- Appa’s snoring, while normally a disturbance, simply joined the noises of the night, pairing with the chittering of the lemur who slept nearby, curled up comfortably in the air bison’s saddle, ear twitching occasionally in an unconscious attempt to fend off the few bugs that flitted and buzzed around the two. 

In wartime, where every moment is spent in preparation, the ability to slow down and simply “live in the moment” was a luxury often dismissed to the blissfully unaware. To not utilize one’s time, to not devote all conscious effort to survival and protection was a concept so sadly ludicrous, it was better spent not being considered at all. Nighttime was just a time to recuperate- to regain the lost energy they would need to succeed the next day. 

Time was a finite resource that needed to be spent productively; in this case, it was best spent asleep, which all current occupants were doing. From the Avatar himself, to the youngest of them all, who had a track record of being impossible to put to bed.

So why did he always find himself wide awake?

Reluctantly, Jet opened his eyes and forced himself to face the reality of yet another insomnia-filled night, staring upwards at the cracked ceiling that hung high above him, counting the cracks yet again in a vain attempt to bore himself to sleep. 

By the time he’d reached fifty, he wasn’t any less awake than before. 

Sighing, he slowly sat up, stretching his arms briefly as he looked around at everyone else, curled up by the light of a dying fire, sound asleep, just as he’d suspected. How badly he wished to be them in that moment, all comfortable and cozy like that. Dreaming about… whatever it was they all dreamt about, he’d never bothered to ask. 

Not that he cared much for dreams, anyway. He could barely recall his own, and the amount of times he’d woken up in a sheet of sweat told him that he was probably much better off not remembering. 

He was about to lay back down again, maybe even fall face-first back onto the pillow hard enough to knock himself out, when he realized that the bedroll closest to him was empty. 

If he wasn’t already awake before, this realization kicked the concept of grogginess straight out of his mind, replacing it with confusion and worry. Already assuming the worst, the teen kicked the blanket off, ignoring the pain that flared up with his sudden movements, narrowing his eyes as he stood, eyes well adjusted to the dark as he glanced around, unable to spot the green-clad earthbender anywhere in the plaza. 

_We are safe here,_ a sane part of his brain attempted to remind him as he reached for his swords. _Nothing bad could have possibly happened. Just wait for him to come back._

Jet shook his head. He knew that part of him was right- going on a full blown search of the entire temple just to find one guy was an incredibly stupid idea.

It wasn’t like he had any plans to fall asleep tonight, though. 

Between counting the cracks on the temple walls and going on a midnight exploration, to him, the choice became clear as he walked out of the plaza, hushedly calling out for his best friend.

—-

Sitting cross legged near the edge of the stone balcony, Haru closed his eyes, keeping his breathing steady as he focused on the three coins in his right hand, feeling them levitate as he made them spin. The feeling of bending metal still felt entirely too foreign to him, though his progress was still something that astounded even him, slow as he was at getting there. 

Eyes opening, he raised his other hand, both palms now face up, increasing the range of the circle that the coins now zipped around in, letting the pieces fly above his hands at a slow speed that quickly picked up, whizzing around impossibly fast, and the earthbender brought his hands closer together, changing the range yet again as he attempted to recreate a trick that he vividly remembered Aang showing Teo and the Duke once. It was such a simple-looking trick that he thought he could very easily nail down, even if it was an airbending one. 

No amount of self assurance in his abilities could have prepared him for how stupidly difficult it was to just get these three coins spinning fast enough together in such a small area. Keeping the spinning contraption contained between his hands, Haru’s eyes lit up as it managed to stay its pace as he lifted it up to eye level, watching it all spin with an odd sense of pride. 

The earthbender was so focused on maintaining the speed, he failed to notice someone approaching, only registering the other presence once a hand suddenly appeared onto his shoulder. 

“Hey, Haru! There you are-“

“AH-“

As his steadily held concentration quickly left him, the coins decided to flee as well, two of the three metal pieces flying off in random directions as Haru stiffened, barely reacting quick enough to catch the last coin before it, too, slipped from his fingers, squeezing it tightly in the palm of his hand as its friends tumbled into the abyss, far out of bending reach, gravity being much stronger than his own abilities.

Both boys stared in awkward silence, eyes following the trajectory of the fallen metal. 

“... Sorry about that,” Jet managed to break the silence, tentatively withdrawing his hand. “Didn’t mean to startle you,’

“It’s okay,” Shaking himself out of his stupor, Haru offered a small half smile over his shoulder, moving himself over to the right and placing his hand on the newly cleared spot next to him. “I’ve probably been practicing that dumb trick for too long anyways,” The teen’s gaze darted between his friend and his own hand, unsure if the guy could even see his invitation in the dark. “Do you want to… sit down?”

Before the offer was even finished, Jet had plopped himself right down beside him, lazily propping a leg up and resting his cheek flat against his fist as he focused on the other side of the fog-filled valley, the forest expanse barely discernible in the dim night. 

“It’s a really nice night,” The ex-leader mused to himself. 

“Yeah,” Haru nodded, unconsciously scooting closer. “It is,”

The cacophony of badgerfrogs and mole crickets made itself known once again as the two sat together, enjoying the simple company too much to dare break or question it. 

That is, until curiosity inevitably got the better of one of them. 

“So,” The resident earthbender spoke, fiddling with the flat disc he kept in one hand, practically dancing it between his fingers as he began, “why’d you come all the way out here?”

“Couldn’t sleep, and you didn’t seem to be asleep, either,” 

“Seems to happen with you a lot,” 

“I could say the same thing about you,”

Both managed to laugh at the shared sentiment, though, for one, it came out in the form of an unamused huff. Concerned, Haru cocked his head to one side as he focused on the boy beside him, attempting to discern his expression, which was currently hidden away under his mop of hair. 

“You sound... exhausted; something on your mind?”

“Nothing that wasn’t there already,” Dismissing his concerns with a small wave of his free hand, Jet allowed his signature smirk to find its way back onto his face, letting it settle into place rather awkwardly. “Just thinking about stuff. The war, everyone I left behind…the war,” Sighing, he found himself sinking lower, using the hand he happened to be resting against to rub his face, dragging downwards out of tired frustration, taking his half-attempt at a smirk down with it. “Hard to think about anything else, really,”

Furrowing his brows in response, Haru flipped the small piece of metal in his hand one more time before tossing it aside, dragging a knee up close to his chest and resting his head on it, filled with even more concern for his best friend, though he stayed silent, allowing him to vent, still unsure how to address said concerns.

“I’m sorry,” He finally settled on, deciding a short sentiment was better than none, “It’s really rough for you right now, isn’t it,”

“Rough doesn’t even begin to describe it,” Jet admitted, still staring intently at the forest that lay miles out of reach. “Wish I could do something about it… well. Besides lose sleep,”

“I could help you,” The offer spilled from Haru’s lips faster than he could process. “Maybe not by much, but I can try,”

This managed to grab the Freedom Fighter’s attention, and he finally turned his head, tired eyes meeting the other’s slightly hopeful ones. Watching him sit up under the newfound attention, he listened intently as the earthbender attempted to explain.

“When I was younger, and I couldn’t fall asleep, I’d sneak out back and lay on the hay in our barn,”

“So you pretended to be an ostrich-horse,” Raising a brow, Jet managed a small laugh as Haru huffed indignantly at the response. “I’ll keep that in mind next time we happen to stop at a farm.”

“Not what I meant.” 

“Sorry, sorry. Go on,” 

Though slightly miffed, the teen continued, rolling his eyes good-naturedly before closing them, breaking their shared gaze for a moment. “I’d go out and lay on one of the piles of hay, and I’d just… allow myself to breathe.”

At the silence that followed, Haru opened his eyes and blinked, finding himself met with a look of utter confusion.

“You’d just… breathe.” Jet responded flatly, as if the mere concept of taking in air astounded him. “Do you… not already… breathe?”

“Well, yeah, of course I do, we all have to,”

“So why sneak outside to do it?”

“I…” Realizing that he was getting absolutely nowhere with this, Haru opted for a different approach, deciding to let his actions do the talking. “Here, let’s try it this way,” Changing his sitting position once more, he allowed himself to lean and fall back, cushioning his fall by propping his arms behind his head, gazing up at the stars that stretched across the boundless sky. Turning his head, he noted that the other boy hadn’t followed suit, and he sat up slightly and tilted his head, offering an encouraging smile.

“C’mon, lay down with me,” He paused. “I know you think it’s weird, but just... try it, trust me,”

Though he was still confused, Jet eventually caved in with a small shake of his head, finding the notion ridiculous in his sleep-deprived state, stretching himself out beside his friend, settling the back of his head on one arm as he stared straight up, not impressed by the sight. Taking in a deep breath, he shifted around, determined to somehow make himself comfortable as the two lay on the cold temple floor.

“What do you see?”

“Stars,” Jet answered, mentally beginning to count them all out of sheer habit. “Too many of them.”

“You don’t always get to see this many,” Haru hummed thoughtfully to himself. “Not this clearly,”

“The sky always looks like this when you live out in the forest,”

“Really? Lucky you,”

“Yeah, it was really nice.” The leader quietly mumbled to himself, breaking his gaze to look over at the other, who seemed completely enamored by the lights in the sky. Clearly, he saw something he didn’t, and he forced himself to look up again, wanting to see whatever Haru saw in the stars that he was clearly missing. 

Whatever it was he saw, Jet thought he would never understand it.

“There weren’t any stars when I was on the prison rig.”

“Huh?”

“There was too much smoke. It was a mining rig, so all the coal they burned blacked out the sky most nights. I couldn’t see anything.” Haru’s eyes seemed to cloud over, expression turning sullen upon the memory resurfacing. “It’s funny, really- they made us sleep outside, which is something I already did, so you’d think it’d be easier for me.”

A perfectly blank sky was something neither of them could even begin to comprehend. 

“It’s a lot harder when you have nothing to be looking up at. There’s nothing to distract you.”

“I can… imagine,”

“Yeah, so, I just stayed up. Didn’t know what else to do,” Gaze flickering back over to the boy beside him, the earthbender managed to catch the brief flash of sympathy that crossed his face. “Sound familiar?”

“Too familiar,” Jet readjusted his position, letting his head thump against the solid stone floor, allowing his eyes to rest for a moment. “Did you have to point it out, or did you have a point?”

“I have a point, I’m getting there,” Haru insisted, feeling the other’s patience beginning to wear thin. For a moment, he wished he wasn’t so long winded- a trait that he’d, unfortunately, inherited from his father, whose habit of speeches and verbosity had subconsciously rubbed off on him. Advice, however, was all he could try to provide. 

When words only failed him around Jet, he knew he had to make them count. 

“I couldn’t sleep because I was so focused on how… far away from everything I felt. I was stuck on some metal thing, stuck in the middle of the ocean, miles and miles away from anything that felt familiar, anything that felt like home. I didn’t even have the earth beneath me.

“So I stopped looking down, and started looking up. And I realized… it’s the same sky for all of us. No matter what day it is, no matter what time it is. We all look up and see the same thing.”

The silence that followed felt profound, the words hanging in the air for a little longer than necessary.

“This… only really makes sense to me, but there’s something reassuring about the fact that, maybe, the people that we miss are looking at the same sky, maybe even at the same time. And I’d like to think that, when they do, they're thinking of us.

“And maybe, one day, we’ll all be able to look up at them. Together. When everything’s finally over, we’ll just be able to look up and know, know that we made it; despite everything, here we are. Makes it all feel just a little less lonely, you know?”

At the lack of response, Haru looked to his left again, wondering if he’d managed to accidentally bore the other teen to death with his overly sentimental explanation. 

Instead, what he found was Jet turned over on his side, facing him, paying little attention to the stars, the tired expression that usually graced his features finally lifted ever so slightly, as if he was finally able to understand and make peace with some part of himself he could barely recognize before. The confusion that pervaded him before seemed to be gone, replaced with a sense of silent awe, and neither realized they happened to be staring at each other so intently until reality caught up with both of them, silence shaking them to their senses, making them smile and laugh awkwardly as they forced themselves to focus on anything else, with little success. 

The unwarranted intimacy of the moment only seemed to worsen as their minds raced with unspoken promises, what-if’s that plagued and haunted the very corners of their brains as they lay together, much too close and yet too far apart. 

“Haru?”

“Yeah?”

“You’re really... kind, you know that?” Jet’s earnest tone felt entirely too foreign on his tongue, much too honest than he was used to expressing, yet he found himself continuing, the truth spilling out like a waterfall. “I wish I could say more than just a thanks for… everything, really.” He unconsciously clasped his hands together, glancing up once more at the night sky. “You always know what to say.”

A fierce blush creeped onto Haru’s face as he, too, forced himself to stare upwards, not wanting the other to see his quickly reddening face. “It’s nothing, really. You don’t have to thank me. I just wanted to help make you feel better.” He paused, suddenly uncertain. “I… did help, right?”

The soft, tired laugh that followed was a sound he never wanted to forget. “I wouldn’t be trying to thank you if you didn’t,”

As the stars glistened high above, the night stretched on, allowing the two to revel in a sense of peace that had previously eluded them, one of the many things stolen away by war, finally given back to each other in a feeling of mute completion that needed no voice to be understood. 

They would probably regret it in the morning, awakening on the balcony with stiff backs from laying on the cold floor of the temple for much too long, possibly even surrounded by confused friends who managed to note their shared disappearances, concerns falling from their lips faster than either of them could process as they would sit up, finding themselves closer together than anticipated, awkwardly dismissing the the rest with a simple hand wave that would do nothing but raise more questions that neither planned to answer.

But tonight, it was only them, lying comfortably underneath their shared sky.

And in the silence, both finally allowed themselves to breathe.

**Author's Note:**

> i actually wrote this weeks ago and felt embarrassed about posting it so i waited until now... hope you guys like it! there deserves to be more works in the jetru tag haha


End file.
